The Hat

I have always fancied myself in a Hat. Not just any hat but one of substance. A mans hat, fit for all hat purposes.

Over the years I have worn everything from beanies, to baseball caps, various Islamic skull caps, even a Fez (and yes of course it was a red one). Never though have I considered a proper Australian hat. An Akubra. Until, whilst browsing their catalogue one day I came across the Adventurer, made by Akubra in my home state. It's me. My daughter agreed. Had to have one after that.

A second thing I have always fancied, and given my years of travel I have never done, is to wander my own home state. Inland, the bush, the outback. Given Akubras rural roots, what better place to go to buy a hat.

The search begins. Sydney to Mudgee, thence to Nyngan. Nyngan on the edge of the cotton belt and officially the beginning of the Outback (so the signs proclaim) has a hat shop. They have all styles of Akubra. No adventurers though.

On to Cobar, the mining town, nope. So to Wilcannia. there is nothing repeat nothing in Wilcannia so it's on to Bourke. Nope, but being a little desperate at this stage as I was heading out of the outback with no major town until I reached the coast, I bought a Cattleman. Very popular style the guy tells me. I buy it. I wear it. It keeps the sun and rain at bay. But this is NOT my hat.

My sister takes a look at the Cattleman, puts it on. It soooooo suits her. She swipes it. I need to go buy an adventurer anyway.

So on I go to Moree, lovely town, sat in a hot spring for an afternoon wondering just how to get this hat there. No adventurers.

Then Grafton, nada, Byron, nope, Ballina, never heard of them. Then Taree, nope.

Finally a guy in Gloucester who has had his hat shop for 38 years tells me I am the first person to ever ask for one. I now really really have to have this hat. I fly fish a few more streams but the urgency is growing. So it's off to Wyong, nope, Newcastle, nope, Forster nope. Port Macquarie, never heard of them, didn't believe there was such a style, had to show them in the catalogue.

Then, in despair ( I discourage easily eh?), I decide to ring their Kempsey distributor. Not only has she heard of them, she will check her stock if I wait a minute. Sure, I wait. And wait. And wait some more. She comes back on the phone and says sorry no stock, plus it's a ten week delivery from the factory she thinks. Despondently I tell her the story thus far, kindly she offers to ring Akubra and ask what they have. Akubra is also at Kempsey. She will ring me back in the morning.

Next day, sunshine, crystal air, lovely espresso. Phone rings. It's her and she says, " you won't believe this, Akubra have one only of that style in stock and it's your size". I race to Kempsey, pay her the money and then zoom out to the factory to pick up My Hat.

Just as the lady from Akubra was giving me the hat, she notices a slight imperfection on the ribbon which she says is easily fixed with a bit of steam. Off she goes with My Hat promising a speedy return.

Fifteen minutes pass. I am getting nervous. She walks in with a guy whom she introduces as the Manager and says "we would like to talk to you about this hat". Oh yeah? What now?

The guy takes me outside and we have the following conversation

The Guy: you obviously know your hats so I want to show you that this hat has a slight mark on the top.

Me: can't see any mark there

The Guy: well I don't want to sell you this hat so can you pick another style please?

Me trying to stay calm but my tone is about -10 icey cold: Mate, I went from Sydney to Nyngan, to Cobar and Bourke, then Moree to Grafton and every point in between to get this hat. I AM HAVING THAT HAT.

It's 12 degrees and I am sweating, wondering why I havent bought a gun with me.

The Guy: Sorry mate, you are misunderstanding me, this hat is your hat, but we want you to choose another one as well.

Relief. MY HAT, and I don it right there. 4500 kilometres after the search began.

I head to Jnidabyne and the Alps with my hat on. Still haven't taken it off despite wind, rain, a bit of snow, lotsa sunshine. Does everything

Oh and the second hat? It's a plainsman. Lovely as well, but not an adventurer.

If you go bush, you are not dressed until you have an Akubra on. www.akubra.com.au

You can order them on line but it's not as much fun as my search.

Oh and by the way, I have lots of slightly used baseball caps, beanies, and Islamic skullcaps for sale. No way will I sell the Fez